12. Special ass flap for gown. $25. But free if you allow some advertising there.
11. 3D TV in every room and always on, $50 per day.
10. Carrying charge for wheeling you out to your car in a wheelchair.
9. Tip for guard who watched over your car while you were inside. $10-$25.
8. Any pubic shaving mishaps.
7. Appendix replacement, $200.
6. Extra, extra special sponge baths are $150, same as downtown.
5. Wheelchair collision, no fault insurance.
4. "In some cases, up to 25 plug-in deodorants."
3. New 10% government surcharge when bill is presented if paid early or late or on time.
2. The $150 up front to the head nurse that will keep you off her shit list.
1. Any lawsuits caused by nurse injuring herself after passing out while carrying out your bedpan.