Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 17 April 2010

image for Mary Potter and The Tempest In Her Womb Part 5 Billy the Connolly - The Big Yin

Mary was beginning to get rather homesick. By now she was missing her parents, who were back at the Manor working for Baron Gotgoober.

Mary knew they would be, by now, worried about their daughter's whereabouts. Not having cell (or mobile) phones way back in the Middles Ages, Mary became so distraught.

She spoke to Armo, her new friend and confidant,

"Armo, I beseecheth thee. Please aid me in contactineth my parents. They must be worried sicketh by now. Do you have any ideath as to howeth I can geteth a message to them to at least say I am okayeth?"

"Foresooth dear Mary. I can and I willeth. I will get a message to them byeth carrier pigeon. I haveth four in my tunic pockets. Worrieth not my dear. I am indeed ontoeth it. Fear not for I am with you, my rod and my staff do comforteth thee through all the days of thy life. Well they COULD giveneth half a chanceth".

Armo walked away from Mary in order to hide his general erection for which he was so embarassed. He was muttering, "Get downeth my beast. Get downeth I say".

Mary hadn't noticed anything untoward with Armo as he wore extremely baggy clothing. She was so happy that Armo was, indeed, going to help her to contact her parents that she forgot about the cramps in her belly.

Chubby the Brown and Billy the Connolly spoke in whispers.

"What thinketh thee Billy the Connolly you a*****e?" asked Chubby the Brown.

"Aboot wot man? Be f*****g cleareth wilt thou?" sayeth Billy the Connolly. "I have a hard time understanding thee in the f******g ferst place with yer stupid freaking Middlesbrough accent. Gi' me a break. Och, have a wee bi' o' haggis. I'm fair knackered and needing nourishment."

Chubby the Brown continued, "Ah well me Scottish frend, it's like this yer see.....A think that piddling little dick, Armo, 'as the hots for Mary. 'E's a right little perv. Or so Ar've 'eard on the grapevine."

"Too bloody true," answered Billy the Connolly, "An' arl tell yer this fer noot. 'E's a bleeding wanker an' A think we shud keep an eye out for this wee lassie, Mary."

Chubby the Brown agreed and he and Billy the Connolly put their heads together in an effort to figure out how to deal with this latest situation.

More to cometh as this story unfolds....

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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