Written by Ivan Ansa
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Saturday, 17 April 2010

Brown : In all my time in politics,
My friends will all agree
I never dodge the issue
I say just what I see.
That's why I tell you firmly
(It's what I've always said)
The past is now behind us
The future lies ahead.

All together: Politics, quick fix, old dogs new tricks,
Spend, spend, spend, I'm everyone's friend.
I spin, he spins, we spin, sweep in -
No matter what you choose, we win you lose.

Cameron : My friends, you know my record,
It's there in black and white,
I've heard what you've been saying -
And you're absolutely right.
We've always been together,
And I say it now with pride
Whatever is the issue
I'm always on your side.

All together: New wealth, new birth and promise the earth.
Mom's apple pie in the clear blue sky:
I talk, he talks, we talk, de-tox -
Trust us if you choose, we win, you lose.

Clegg : The other guys have failed us
On every policy.
We need a new beginning -
Begin right here with me.
I'll get us moving forward
To somewhere really new.
A vote for me, I promise,
Will be a vote for you.


All together: Hope on a rope and the old soft soap
Clear belief and a clean set of teeth.
I smile, he smiles, we smile, free style,
Smile back if you choose, we win, you lose.


Adapted slightly from MEMBEAR OF PARLIAMENT by Richard Heller published by Bearmondsey Publishing

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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