Written by Lady Godiva
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Friday, 9 April 2010

image for Mary Potter and the Tempest in her Womb Part 3 A page from the diary of Mary Potter

Mary Potter had enjoyed waking up to the Dawn chorus but The Vicar of Dibley had to bid her farewell and the comic Troubadors went on their merry way.

Armo Gusofftopic was fair relieved to see them departeth from the forest because theis meant he could continue with his plan to help this damsel in distress.

"Forsooth, fair Mary I do have a plan. I spoketh with the Wise Old Fart who lives in yonder cottage." Armo pointed with his spindly finger back over his left shoulder, down the path from which he had cometh.

"Wise Old Fart know everything - almost - and told me of galloping horses, carrying Knights into battle. They didst thunder past his cottage causing the thatch to loosen.
Wise Old Fart was up on the roof fixing it when I approached his dwelling."

He knows the man who puteth the bun in your oven and sayeth Sir Phookalot was with the Knights that day. He recognized him by his Coat of Arms which bears a large picture of male genitalia and a naked buxom wench.

Also, Sir Phookalot reeks of Brut aftershave. As well as heralding his 'coming' it keeps the mosquitoes away."

"The Old Fart overheard the knights talking and they saideth that they were heading for Blackburn to see this
miracle wench Susan the Boyle. Everyone is flocking to the tiny village of Blackburn to honour and praise this wench with the voice of an angel."

Dearest Mary, worrieth not for we will begin our journey to Blackburn on the morrow. Feareth not for I have a list of the names of many folk with whom we can rest awhile on the journey."

Mary was overly joyed and on hearing about the miracle wench, Susan the Boyle, she too was looking forth with glee to have the opportunity to hounour and praise such a beautiful angel.

Armo gave her one warning, "Mary, if you spyeth anyone with a long red piece of cloth draped around their neck, stay clear, do not speak to them or touch them. They are a type of leper but they don't carry bells. Most speak in a strange tongue. Keep on your guard at all times."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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