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Monday, 6 June 2005

image for Bible Belts Pissing Off Bible Belt; Christian Coalition NewFromOld Inc. recycles old decaying bibles like this one and uses the leather to make belts, which Pat Robertson says has damned them to hell

A new brand of belts manufactured using the leather coverings of recycled Bibles, (i.e. "Bible Belts") is tightening the nerves of America's Bible Belt, the geographical region known for its fundamentalist brand of Protestant Christianity and strict interpretation of the Bible.

"It's blasphemy!" says Ralph Reed, former head of the Christian Coalition and major political fundraiser. "For a company to take recycled Bibles, strip off the leather coverings and refashion that leather into something as trivial and common as a belt is an insult to the Lord. It's almost as bad as when the Israelites melted down the sacred tabernacle gold to form a golden calf."

NewFromOld Inc., the company which manufacturers the belts says it is shocked by the outrage and sees no moral issues with its selection of materials. "Our company uses as many recycled materials as possible," explains NewFromOld Inc. CEO Theodore Milnk. "We make new clothing from old clothing and yes, among other things the leather from old Bibles is used in the manufacturing of our belts. I think it was Jesus who said, 'Love your neighbor' and that's one of our key business philosophies. Keeping the environment clean is a big part of loving one's neighbor, and recycling is vital to a clean environment."

But televangelist Pat Roberston, who is spearheading a boycott of NewFromOld products sees the issue differently. "What we have is people living in sin," Robertson said. "When you're living in sin, you're blind to what's right and what's wrong. You can't see what's wrong, so you start thinking what's wrong is really alright."

David McKinee, a Pentecostal minister with a church in Raleigh, where NewFromOld Inc. bases their operations has led several demonstrations against the company and is asking his church to discipline any rebellious children who wear the belts. "You spare the belt you end up spoilin' the whole of the child. That's right in the proverbs. We've had problems with youths in our congregation wearing the so called 'Bible Belts' and the only thing to do was whip their behinds with whatever non-sacreligious belts were in the vicinity."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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