Written by Dr. Billingsgate

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Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Just as I would not wish to be called a socialist because I have a social security number, I can understand that for many liberals conceived in the heat of a barnyard encounter between a Rhode Island Red and their mama, why they would feel discomfort being labeled a chicken-lipped liberal.

Having been the first to describe Senator John Kerry as being a liberal, slack jawed, chicken-lipped jackal, it is no secret that I despise these vacuous political scum suckers in a way that words cannot fully address. These pecker-lipped proteans are selling us out for their own political gain.

When you look at the profiles of Barack Obama, John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer and all the rest of the liberal flotsam, has it dawned on you that each of them has a physical characteristic that sets them apart from conservatives? Yes, boys and girls. They all suffer the common affliction of chicken lips (gallus labius). This, I have been assured by Dr. Cleghorn Leghorn, forensic chicken anthropology professor emeritus at LaFontaine College, is the result of cross-breeding Homo sapiens with the common domestic fowl known as the chicken.

If anyone has remaining doubts concerning this evolution, the next time you observe a liberal, check out his or her lips. No less an expert than noted forensic phrenologist, Dr. Wendell Foxlet of Harvard University, made this observation in his ground breaking book, "Lips, The Link Between Poultry, Poltroons and Liberals":

"When a man or woman such as John Kerry or Nancy Pelosi tells a lie, there is usually a cathartic attempt to cleanse oneself afterwards. With both Kerry and Pelosi you will note that they constantly lick their chicken lips when finishing a lying statement. This has been a constant for generations of liberals."

There is hope on the horizon for this affliction of gallus labius. You have possibly noticed the Hollywood starlets prancing around with their pouty, bee stung lips provacatively pursed for whatever. Do you really believe those lips are anymore real than the boobs below them?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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