Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 20 March 2010

image for Gordon Ramsey - to arrange Haggis Cockup - sorry - Cookoff - with Susan Boyle whilst in search of a new Fanny. Gordon Ramsey's favourite dish

Yes, it's true. Gordon Ramsey has admitted he is Subo's greatest fan.

Well he IS a fan but because HE thinks he's THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD, then he surely thinks of himself as Susan's GREATEST Fan.

In a recent interview Gordon said, "F**k me! Are you f***ing kidding? I love her to bits. I'll be looking for another 'Fanny' in my next series of The F Word and would just LOVE to have Susan as a contestant.

She's a f***ing belter and she won't take any shit from anyone. How could you NOT admire a woman like that?

I think Susan and I will work great together. We appear to have the same sense of humour and love of the English-Scottish language. Did you know I was born in Scotland?

If she accepts my invitation I plan a 'HAGGIS COCKOFF'. Sorry, I meant to say a 'HAGGIS COOKOFF. Now get the f**k out of my kitchen."

Christ, I can't wait to meet her and tell her to f**k off out of my bloody kitchen. That, of course, will ONLY happen IF she loses the 'cookoff' challenge.

If she WINS- well I don't even have to think about that because I make a f***ing great haggis.

I plan to have Chubby Brown on the same show. He's a bit of a bloody character isn't he ? He's like me in many ways. He doesn't use foul language in his REAL life. It's just an act, like mine.

I was sorry to hear about his 'throat cancer'. If you are reading this Chubby. All the best mate!"


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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