Written by PP Rega
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 18 March 2010

image for British Airways asks for sacrifices from their Premier-Elite Passengers

British Airways is trying to counter an upcoming cabin-crew strike by enlisting their Premier-Elite passengers to accept certain "sacrifices" in order to save on expenses.

Here is what BA is asking their extra-special, pampered passengers to do:

* Learn what each dining utensil is used for and then bring it.

* Pack their own chlorine if they want to use the hot tub.

* Bring their own condoms for the BA Mile-High Club.

* Pay an extra 125 euros for any accompanying blow-up mannikins.

* Pay an extra loading fee after the eighteenth piece of luggage.

* Bring a Thai-English dictionary since the stewards and stewardesses will be 12-year-old natives rescued from the brothels of Bangkok.

* Supply their own lip balm since the damask linen napkins will be replaced by Kleenex.

* Download maps from Mapquest for the location of the on-board toilets.

* Prior to boarding, it is recommended to develop a taste for caviar from Perth Amboy, NJ.

* Learn to wipe their own asses.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

84 readers are online right now!

Go to top