British Airways is trying to counter an upcoming cabin-crew strike by enlisting their Premier-Elite passengers to accept certain "sacrifices" in order to save on expenses.
Here is what BA is asking their extra-special, pampered passengers to do:
* Learn what each dining utensil is used for and then bring it.
* Pack their own chlorine if they want to use the hot tub.
* Bring their own condoms for the BA Mile-High Club.
* Pay an extra 125 euros for any accompanying blow-up mannikins.
* Pay an extra loading fee after the eighteenth piece of luggage.
* Bring a Thai-English dictionary since the stewards and stewardesses will be 12-year-old natives rescued from the brothels of Bangkok.
* Supply their own lip balm since the damask linen napkins will be replaced by Kleenex.
* Download maps from Mapquest for the location of the on-board toilets.
* Prior to boarding, it is recommended to develop a taste for caviar from Perth Amboy, NJ.
* Learn to wipe their own asses.