Speaking today from his North African "Ministry for wayward hot looking prepubescent boys" Cardinal Arsay O'Toole has given the first candid interview by any senior member of the catholic church about the recent paedo scandals enveloping them .
"Firstly" he began "You cant seriously imagine a group of grown men go around in dresses, dont marry, and choose to live together just for shits and giggles ? Of course the vast majority of them like to ride the chocolate speedway and terrorise youngsters into debauched sexual acts . I mean c,mon the job has to have some perks, its bad enough taking confession and having to wank off really quietly whilst doing it .
Obviously every priests major ambition is to one day become pope so they can wear that hot white dress and red slip on shoes, it also pretty much gets you off with your nazi past and the paedo's you used to be Bishop of and failed to do fuck all about" .
The cardinal then had to take a break for a few minutes to advise his aide Mustaffa on the location of the key for the KY Jelly cupboard .
Returning to the conversation O'Toole decides to finish with a joke :-
A Preist is doing confession when he feels an unwelcome movement in his gut. Knowing that it is serious, he runs off and gets a nun to cover for him while he takes care of his business. The nun hops into the booth and waits for the first person to come in.
A woman comes in and says,"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.". The nun replies, "what did you do?". She says " I have taken part in oral sex." The nun is shocked and has no idea what to do. So she runs to the alter boy and asks,"What does the priest usually give for oral sex?"
Boy: A Coke and a candy bar.
O'Toole then left to minister to his flock his dress bulging at the front like there was a babys arm with a cats head on the end in there .