Written by Jesus Budda
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Sunday, 7 March 2010

image for Home experiments whilst naked #05 Wow...that is Soooooo cool

Previous Experiments:
Experiment #01
Experiment #02
Experiment #03
Experiment #04

You like Science, admit it. go on. say it out loud. There is no shame to liking science. It is as natural a thing as breathing or falling out of bed when the alarm clock goes off early.

Because I know you like science I will try and continue to make you happy.
I am that kind of guy.

Today, my dear friends, we are going to do something that is entertaining and incredible.
We are going to:

RECREATE A TERMINATOR 2-STYLE 'LIQUID METAL' EFFECT...WHILST NAKED

But how so?
Didn't that movie require hundreds of highly-skilled technicians, millions of dollars of money and advanced technology that had to be specially designed by teams of computer scientists and stuff?
Well, yes it did.
But that was 1991 and this is the future!
We can do anything we want, people.
This IS the future.
We are GODS!


Ok. settle down. Let us get scientifically naked.

What you need:

- Corn Flour (about 300grams of the stuff)
- Water (250 ml of the pure, natural liquid of Gaia)
- A Bowl (metal or hard plastic but NOT glass!)
- A Spoon (for stirring and shoving up your bum - only kidding! Its just for the stirring)
- A Hammer (for bashing)
- An open mind.
- A time to waste.
- Nudity.


What to Do:

Lets get cracking, mo-fo's!
Take off all your clothes and jewelry.
Put them in a safe place: you can never be to careful these days with thieving bastards lurking everywhere, waiting to pounce on some stupid bastard that likes doing experiments nude.

Pour the water and corn flour into a bowl and get mixing with that spoon.
Mix it nice and good, baby.
Keep on stirring it up until it becomes stiff (insert naked pun here).
If you tip the bowl you will notice that the mixture becomes liquid again.
Give it another stir and notice how it hardens but if you move your finger or a spoon through it very gently it remains liquid.
Pull out the finger/spoon quickly again and it become a solid.
Scoop out a handful of the mixture really fast and it will be like putty that you can mould into shapes in your hands, but as soon as you stop moulding it it returns to liquid form and pours back down into the bowl.
Freaky shit!

Now lets take it to the next level.

Make sure you have that hammer nearby.
Stir the liquid in the bowl again to make it nice and hard (again insert a penis-related pun here).
Now take the hammer and bash the contents inside with it.
The mixture will shatter - if you didn't listen to the instructions at the start and used a glass bowl you have probably just smashed it instead, you tool!

Now watch as the pieces then re-liquefy and reform as a viscous substance again - just like the molten metal effect in Terminator 2!

Hooray!

Now lets try something else.
Mix up the liquid again, quickly grab a lump of it with your hands and fling it against the wall and watch as it shatters on impact and then does the cool molten metal effect all over your kitchen counter and floor!

Double Hooray!!!!


What the Hell just Happened, Jesus?

Come on, now. Don't tell me you forgot already?
Ok, let me explain the 'science bit'.
You just created an STF (a shear-thickening fluid) or otherwise known as a dilatant material. In these materials they thicken when you apply force to them. the shock of impact or disturbance causes the materials particles to lock into place and become tightly aligned.
When they are left at rest (when you stop fucking around with them and your stupid spoon/hammer) the particles revert to normal mode(loosely aligned).

A good example would be quicksand: the more you struggle when you get stuck in it the harder it is to move. If you move slowly and gently, though, you can move about ok.

I do hope you enjoyed today's naked experiment.
Come back another day to do more strange, mysterious, odd things.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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