I am Jesus Budda.
In this series I will be describing some experiments that you, the ordinary person reading this article right now, can do at home. Naked.
All these experiments are 100% real.
The majority of them will not lead to death or illness.
I take no responsibility for any horrible mutilation that should occur.
With that crap out of the way, let us now enter the world of science fun.
Lesson #01 - CREATING PLASTIC
What you need:
- 1 Litre of milk (from a cow or other mammal)
- About 20ml White vinegar
- A pot
- A spoon for stirring the crap
- A sieve for straining the crap
- A heat source (a dragon would be cool but you can just use the cooker stove)
- Time and effort you are willing to waste
Put the milk in that fucking pan and heat that bad boy up. Yeah, that's nice and warm, baby.
Don't let it boil, merely simmer.
Stir in the vinegar until you notice yellowish bits curdling in the pot. Jesus, that stinks!
Turn off that pot and let it cool down.
When the pot has cooled, sieve the rubbery yellowish mixture out and pour the milk down the sink (don't drink it unless you want to die or piss yourself).
Form and pres the rubbery stuff into a blob. Mould it into some decent looking shape - like a ball or whatever.
Look, I'm not your fucking mother.
Use your imagination ok?
Congratulations, you have produced plastic. Whilst naked!
You produced casein which is similar to the stuff your keyboard is made from or CD case or whatever.
Don't get any of this stuff on your, errrrm, you know what. If you do, and you turn out to enjoy the experience, then you are weirdo and I want nothing more to do with you. You are therefore banished from my little naked experiment classes!
Go to Experiment #02