Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 22 February 2010

image for Dear Mr Medvedev... Dear Mr Medvedev...

You said that anybody could just drop you a line to ask for your help or to make suggestions. I'd like to take you up on that offer if I may?

Firstly, can I suggest that you try to keep the place a little cleaner? Ok, a lot cleaner. I haven't noticed any street sweepers in the capital. Where are they all? Siberia?

Oh, they are. Sorry. They were guilty of anti-Russian practices so you shipped them all out. Right.

Next, bus queuing. Why don't you try it? It's fun, really. It's just that being whacked in the gob by a big fat babooshka rather puts me off public transport. Think of global warming and pollution..... oops, next point.

What is the Russian for catalytic converter? What do you mean, what's a catalytic converter? You go to the big summits don't you? Oh, you leave all of that to Vladimir. He's really in charge.

Well thanks for listening. You've been a big help.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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