Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 20 February 2010

image for Ciggy Tarbrush And The Ciders From Bars Another cider Mr Tarbrush?

Ciggy Tarbrush threw up into the waste bin. "Yet another shit gig in a shit town" he thought as he remembered last night. The band were all over the place as usual. Things started ok, but then Dingo Starsi had collapsed into his drum kit. Too much of Gwatkin's Old Skullcrusher.

Following Dingo's collapse the bass player, Stung, had decided to down a litre of Thunderclap Special. That was him out for the count. Lead guitarist Derek Clappedout didn't last much longer. A swig of Mother's XXX with added foreskin had sent the guitar hero into another coma.

Ciggy knew that there had to be another way to make it big in this business. He just couldn't think clearly. Bloomer's Original Scrumpy could do that. Ciggy decided to phone his manager, Micky Less, to seek guidance. "Yes" Micky told him," I have some advice. Stop fucking drinking and you might stand a chance."

Micky was right. Urgent action was needed. Ciggy downed ten pints of Battery Acid and sacked his manager.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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