1. Refuse to pay for a TV licence.
2. Get sent to court to ensure that there is a significant waste of tax-payers money.
3. Call the judge an "old buffoon" so that you get sentenced for at least a year.
4. As soon as you start your sentence, apply for a television.
5. Serve one week, whilst being a 'goody-two-shoes'.
6. Rent a colour television with remote control for just £1 per week.
If you follow these guidelines, then you can have three meals a day, one hours exercise, 23 hours viewing time, heating and lighting and a bed for the night all thrown in!
The cost of a TV licence is £165 per year you therefore make a massive saving of £113. The cost to keep you in prison is £31,000 per year. Court costs approx £2,000.
The cost to the government (i.e. taxpayer) £33,113 (+72p if batteries in remote control run out)
Who says crime does NOT pay?
(Note for the stupid: do not try this at home!)