Written by IN SEINE
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Wednesday, 3 February 2010

image for In Seine's guide to: How to have your cake and eat it! Typical Prison Cell

1. Refuse to pay for a TV licence.
2. Get sent to court to ensure that there is a significant waste of tax-payers money.
3. Call the judge an "old buffoon" so that you get sentenced for at least a year.
4. As soon as you start your sentence, apply for a television.
5. Serve one week, whilst being a 'goody-two-shoes'.
6. Rent a colour television with remote control for just £1 per week.

If you follow these guidelines, then you can have three meals a day, one hours exercise, 23 hours viewing time, heating and lighting and a bed for the night all thrown in!

The cost of a TV licence is £165 per year you therefore make a massive saving of £113. The cost to keep you in prison is £31,000 per year. Court costs approx £2,000.

The cost to the government (i.e. taxpayer) £33,113 (+72p if batteries in remote control run out)

Who says crime does NOT pay?

(Note for the stupid: do not try this at home!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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