Administrators of the Moorview Institute posed with politicians this week at the ribbon cutting for a recently completed addition intended to house 100 new patients.
Construction of the addition was plagued by numerous delays at the start as workman wearing khaki boiler suits were often mistaken as escaping patients.
Workers were continually being chased by security guard Gertie Helmuth, grappled to the ground by the former Bulgarian Olympic weight lifter and sedated by Moorview psychiatrist Dr. Melvin Lippshitz, slowing down progress appreciably.
Dr. Lippshitz explained that some workmen were often sedated several times a day, and "Some inappropriate behavior was reported by nurse Heidi LaBouche while supervising the recovering workmen but this matter has now been resolved."
"Ms. LaBouche is now on maternity leave expecting triplets and has started walking on her own again.
Contractor owner Fergus McCarthy was quick to try and put the project back on the rails but was not made aware of the difficulties encountered by his workman and made matters worse by firing drugged workers as "Worthless Malingerers."
New Irish workers were brought in by McCarthy to keep construction on schedule.
The new addition is the pet project of Moorview Institute Owner Mark Lowton who is reported to have a palatial suite reserved for himself and visiting dignitaries he is acquainted with such as Napoleon, Abe Lincoln, Mahatma Ghadhi and General Sir Binden Blood of Irregular Warfare. Lowton gushed "The Institute keeps growing and growING and GROWING!!!"
"The Mooreview Institute will soon expand to include not just beds but be linked by mental radio waves and the Internet to all humans and our alien friends."
Lowton welcomed politicians and dignitaries to join him afterwards at a reception with Mooreview patients and personally served everyone double scoop butter-brickle ice-cream cones while wearing a tin-foil hat.