Written by Jeff Brone

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Tags: Letters

Saturday, 30 January 2010

Dear Spoof:

Have you seen me lately? I'm feisty! That's the word I'd use, feisty! I don't give up, and I'm not going away. Come to the White House and I'll kick your butt at X-Box. That's right, I talk trash too!

Deal with it,
Barack "B-Money" Obama (Prez!)

Dear Mr. Spoof:

Have you seen the remote? Oh, it's here in my hand. Land o' Goshen! Come down to Texas and eat one of my cows!

I love Frosted Flakes,
George Bush

Dear Spoof:

Would you like the deluxe car wash? Boy, how far the mediocre have fallen!

John Edwards

Dear Spoof:

I use my cell phone all the time now. It's great if you don't mind not hearing who you're talking to. I like it. In fact, it's in my rectum right now. I mean, pocket.

Joe D'Haberdash
Dasherhab, IA

Good evening Spoof:

We're an improv group called "The Monkey's Calculator." We'd like a suggestion of a location where our scene could take place. Anyone? Please, it's either this or telemarketing. OK, forget it. It's better in person anyway.

Brad Chiltonham
Dreading Adulthood

Dear Spoof:

You know what? People who don't like me are just threatened by a confident secure woman who is full of crap.

Janeane Garofalo
Still going into work at Air America

Dear Western Spoof Satan:

I control the world, striking fear into the heart of the United States as I lick a yak's udder for nourishment in my damp opulent cave. With all this power, I still can't find a woman to oppress. I will soon destroy one of your vending machines!

Am I dead yet?
Osama Bin Laden

Dear Spoof:

Do you know what I like to do on my day off? Set Barney Frank on fire, put him on Nancy Pelosi's doorstep and run.

Bill O'Reilly
Shut Up!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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