Well, dear reader, you're looking very nice today! What's that you're wearing? Come on, take them off! Here, I'll help you. That's it. Now come over here, just bend over. Yes just like that. Now. Oh yes, that's good. You like that don't you. What's the matter, have you never been violated by a narrator before? Oh yes! Oh, wow! You are good. Oh, yes! I'm nearly there. Uh! Uh!
Oh yes! I needed that. Oh, that's good. Phew! I'm out of breath now.
The story? What story?
Oh, you wanted to hear what happened to Gwarthar? Well to be honest it was just an excuse for me to take advantage of you.
But if you must know, Gwarthar found the volcano, destroyed the Ring of Zodnoj, but got arrested on the way back and sent to a mental home.