News is rolling in from cities all over the States from women expressing their interest in having their names put on a waiting list to become Rosie O'Donnel's next lover.
One such woman writes:
I am 35 years old and very beautiful with a great body. I have never been married and am a virgin. I am not gay but would be willing to change for you.
I am financially secure and am not interested in your money. I have a beautiful mansion in Berkely Hills here in California, with an indoor and outdoor pool and spa.
My home is staffed with servants and chefs and I am looking for someone to share all this with.
I drive a Rolls Royce, also have a Jaguar convertible just for fun.
My homes in Aspen and Rio are equally beautiful and also fully staffed.
I have bank accounts in Switzerland and also more stocks than my stock broker can handle.
There is more, but I feel I should not discuss my assets any further until I know if you would be interested in me.
I realize that you have just fallen in love again, but things do happen, and I would like you to keep me in mind.
I would be willing to wait for you if you indicate that I might have a chance.
(name not disclosed)
Please contact me through this publication
An answer was received and forwarded to the sender.
"You got a long wait lady, Rosie is not interested, but I might be"