Written by Philip Moon
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 1 January 2010

image for In Hawaii they say that Rush Limbaugh's small heart Grew three sizes that day! His listeners cried "Say it ain't so", next to their now hate-free trasistor radios

Hawaii - The news that came out, upon the news wires
reported word of Rush Limbaugh, word that was most dire
Rush Limbaugh the radio jockey whiles on his holiday rest,
Was admitted to the hospital with pains of the chest

Verbose and Grinchy on his daily radio show
But he held unhealthy secrets that most didn't know
It wasn't a lack of brain that made him a thug
nor was his secret addition to prescription drugs

No, the big thing about him that set him apart
Was a shrunken state of his manhood and heart
The first he tried fix with his love of the pill
The other he knew not, as he'd learn not to feel

But Rush, Coming down off his ivory radio tower,
hoped tropical flavors would cleanse his bile most sour
For the years its tastes had filled his large mouth
His only escape was the Hawaiian islands far south

There he met real people, not bombastic callers
People of mental heft, not intellectual trawlers
People who bathed there days in warm tropical sunlight
Some were liberals, some moderate, even some not white!

And what happened then? Well in Hawaii they say
that Rush's small heart grew three sizes that day
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He changed his show into a beacon of light.

"We may disagree, but I'm open to debate"
Said Rush Limbaugh, feeling hopeful and great
"Let's go to the phones, our next caller is Jay,
You claim you're a liberal, what have you to say?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

78 readers are online right now!

Go to top