Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 31 December 2009

image for Spoof writers divulge their New Year Resolutions, rest of the world beware! What a right load of ol Cobblers BALLS, resolutions were never meant to last anyway!

Global Spoofwriters have been divulging their "New Years Resolutions" to the world and believe me the Spoof readership are in for some shockers!

The world can't wait so here we go:

Ace Spoofer Abel Rodriquez has vowed to lay off of the tequila, Obama and Mexican drug dealers but has promised to keep snorting the shit.

Queen Mudder has vowed to become a Lesbian Nun, give up mud wrestling, wet t-shirt contests and bare-knuckle fisticuffs with Colonel Juan.

Colonel Juan has vowed to dedicate all of his points to the welcome back Frankie J charity, we always knew CJ had a heart of gold.

Skoob has vowed too star in every novel written by fellow Spoofers as a "Piss Artist" he feels this role was a "CALLING" by Jesus------Buddha

Jesus Buddha has vowed to turn over a new tea leaf, become a New Age Poof, join the Gay Rugby club, The Reverse Jockstraps, and if he doesn't get a SCRUMMED BUM, become a straight Catholic Priest.

Morse has vowed to become even more Loony and join up with Jaggedone in a duo called "The Loony Tunes" featuring Jimbo Gun on the xylophone, blowing!

Madame Bitters has vowed never to pay for sex in her own Bordell again.

Fergus McCarthy has vowed to tell the TRUTH, admit he eats French snails, Baguettes and has Brittany blood running through his Irish veins.

Victor Nicholas has promised to give up shagging Grizzly Bears, nicking their honey and getting STUNG in the process!

Jalepenoman has promised never to leave the Spoof to chase paedophiles, wife bashers and Michael Jackson's ghost.

Mark Lawton has promised not to give Bureau any more points for his Snippets, instead give them all too Jaggedone.

San Francisco Onion & Bargis Tryhol have vowed to become one even if they have to lose their virginity.

Last not least:

Monkey Woods alias, alias, alias, has devoted his life to Man Utd, formed a team called "The Bangkok Lover Boy-girls" and has promised Ronaldo, "We'll be up ya Ducky!"

More to be revealed as they CUM!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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