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Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for A Poetic Tribute To Monkey Woods Monkey Woods (before gender reassignment surgery)

Wood Monkeys, or Monkey Woods,
With all your names, you deliver the goods.
Jenny Bigtits was perky and hot,
though Mister Meaner got one starred a lot.

Some say you're JB, or that girl named Chamone.
Do you think of this all while you are stuck on the throne?
When you're squeezing one out among those South Asain fleas,
Are you wondering how to taunt and to tease?

You overwhelm us with soccer (you call it football),
but it's filled with sports rejects who are really quite small.
None of them could hit homers, get rebounds, or such ploys,
and none could play lineman for the Dallas Cowboys.

On busses in England your actions were quite bad,
Nearly bringing Moslem women to declare a Jihad.
You thought you were kindly, thought you were quite slick;
but one old Arab lady wanted to cut off your dick.

Now you're in Thailand, did you go to arrange
to have youself given one of their noted sex change?
Did the old lady cut off your member, the one who got fussy?
Are you really in Thailand to make it a pussy?

And if you're a woman and can do as you please
Will they give you a pair of 44 double d's?
Will you shake your round ass and then wiggle your titties
When cheering for soccer play from your favorite Hull City?

You've written lots of Spoofs (a bunch more than me)
Did you think to pass Queen Mudder you had to have a cunnie?
Will your story production now heighten and soar,
when your old, will your fake tits sag and droop to the floor?

You've produced lots of stories, most of them funny
It's too bad good old Markie doesn't pay us any money.
Keep writing away, creating new and more identities
(why should I say that, you'll do as you please).

Last week you wrote a poem, a tribute to me
You posted it in the forums and waited for me to see.
I read and had some laughs (quite a few),
So this poem is my attempt to get even with you.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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