Written by Gordo Plenty
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Monday, 21 December 2009

In this day and age, it so very important to protect the feelings and well being of persons who may or may not be affected by the verbal or written representation of speech.

It is common to refer to a person whose melanin rating is higher than Caucasian as an African-American. To be fair, we need to make sure to refer to Caucasians of European descent as Euro-Americans and those persons from Asia as Asian-Americans, etc.

Holidays often cause many bad feelings amongst different cultural groups. Remember that words such as 'God', 'Christmas', 'Jesus' and various others are considered highly offensive to some. From now on, these Persons and Holidays need to be referred to as 'My personal Deities' and 'Holiday'. To take it a step further, perhaps we should wish people 'Happy December', thereby removing any cultural significance that could possibly be construed as offensive.

The term 'man' has become very offensive in the past decade or so, especially if that 'man' is white and 18 years or older. So it is better to replace the term 'man' with 'person'. Therefore a 'mailman' becomes a 'mail person' and 'Policeman' should become 'Police person'. Of course this does lead to the fact that Batman and Superman become Batperson and Superperson, respectively.

Please remember to use your brain to save the feelings of the next person you speak to.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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