"Santa Claus: a public health pariah?" is the title of a piece that is appearing in the Christman edition of the British Medical Journal (BMJ 2009;339:b5261).
What it's essentially saying is that good old Saint Nick should lose all that weight so as to be a healthy role model for our global youth. How much more can Santa do to be politically correct nowadays? He's already done so much in order to convey the proper image.
Here are the top 10 things that Santa Claus has done over the years to serve as a positive image to our children:
10) Installed seat belts on his sleigh
9) Stopped whipping his reindeer to make them fly faster
8) Cocaine only after Christmas
7) Gave up his mistresses in Finland, Italy, and Guam
6) Established college funds for his bastard children in Fiji, Ethiopia, Bangladesh, Mauritania, and Staten Island
5) Paid back taxes of 60,000,000 Euros
4) Allows children to sit on his lap only when a parent is present
3) Provided a pension fund for his elves
2) Stopped smoking
1) Uses condoms
So, give the big guy a break and let him eat cake, candy, and pasta!