(Defecated News) We've been waiting weeks for the details, and it didn't appear likely that we'd even find out what exactly was said between Tiger Woods and the secret lady only known as 'The Ninth Hole'.
But devoted reporters from The Spoof have cleverly bribed Mr Woods' cellphone company for transcripts - and here they are folks! Fuck, Yeah!!
'TW' - how r u? xxx TW :-)
'9H' - fine. u? X H :-)
'TW' - i wan 2 lik ur nips :-P
'9H' - but wot abt my cnt? :-?
'TW' - fk yeh! i wan 2 eat ur cnt & ur poo 2 :-))
'9H' - wtf? :-0
'TW' - and i wish u had a 12inch cock 2 suk 2
'9H' - WTF..!!!?? r u a homo? :-(
'TW' - err no, why?
'9H' - sorry, it's ova, u fkin freak. go & die, cnt!!
'TW' - i luv it wen u talk dirty :-))
'9H' - fuk off! im not jokin!! u fukin deviant cnt!
'TW' - but i luv u! :-(
'9H' - WTF? BBQ! dont sms me EVER again!!! :-(((