Written by Bureau

Print this

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

image for Top 15 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger Woods: "And No Fist Pumping..?"

Top 15 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger Woods:

15. No mulligans when you miss the hole on your first try....you're shooting two, whether you like it or not....

14. No mechanical enhancements allowed....got to shoot with the club God gave you...

13. Always mark your balls when playing in foursome...avoid confusion around the hole...

12. I was just lining up my shot. How dare you accuse me of grazing on the green!

11. Just off to bonk her in the bunker.

10. How to pick up chicks at the 19th hole after a round.

9. Kneeling down to line up shots is a really good way to look up the dresses of female caddies and golfers like Michelle Wei.

8. Develop code for sexual interludes like; "You wanna help me wipe the sand off my wedge?"

7. Specialize in giving women's private lessons; Lesson number 1, how to grip the club so it doesn't fly out of your hands towards my head.

6. If you show me your sand trap I'll show you my putter.

5. Wish that cup on 16 had been your size.

4. Always make sure that your wood is iron when you try to "driver."

3. Be sure you don't hit the back of the hole and bounce out!

2. No more than one club allowed in your shorts...automatic DQ

1. No fist pumping after scoring....ok as a warm up before taking the shot...

Reference, Idea: Queen Mudder

Lists: Jalapenoman, P.M. Wortham, Abel Rodriguez, Skoob, Bureau & Morse.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


108 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more