Written by matwil
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Monday, 7 December 2009

image for Fly Obama Airways! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Barack Obama flying round the world endlessly

Tired of supposedly being the most powerful man in the world? Fed up with doing nothing for month after month except for making short meaningless speeches to fill up the news? Then why not take an air cruise with Obama Airways, the world's newest airline.

Marvel as your jet flies all the way to England, where you can relax for a day in London, relax as nobody has the slightest interest in who you are. Enjoy a refreshing break in Turkey where you are also ignored, but keep waving and smiling at nobody in particular anyway to look important. But make sure your dear friend Hillary Clinton is not on board your plane when you take off again to go to Israel.

In Israel be given your orders from the leader of one of the tiniest countries in the world, which sums up just how mighty your own one really is, and of course don't say a word about the near genocide that you armed the Israelis to practice against the Palestinians in Gaza City. Then why not fly south to Africa? There you can practice your hobby of waffling cliched platitudes that sound great but mean nothing at all, and enjoy making your usual hints that race is not important but keep hinting at it being important at the same time.

After that go to France for no reason at all, except to look tall compared to French President Nicolas Sarkozy, and avoid saying anything at all about US defense policies. And then, when you're running out of places to holiday in, why not fly to Macedonia or Bosnia-Herzegovina, or Albania? Remember how George W. Bush was mobbed there, because the only other foreigner the Albanians had ever heard of was Norman Wisdom.

Then it's back to the U S of A, for whatever it is you do there. Practice doing your walking slowly out to The White House lawn as if you're about to deliver The Gettysburg Address rather than just talk about puppy dogs, then add that you're sending ten times as many troops into Iraq as Bush did, but call it 'withdrawing them'.

Obama Airways, for those endless trips abroad you just can't stop making! And all for only $800 million dollars. You know a £10million-costing constitutional monarchy makes sense - and without all those farcical elections every four years! Fly Obama Airways, the world's most pointless and expensive airline.

(NOTE : In case of emergency use race card and/or puppy dogs and/or rappers, and under no circumstances either mention detailed policies or explain why American soldiers are actually dying in the Middle East, or why the richest and most heavily-armed country in the world cannot even defeat Third World countries in wars.)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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