Written by George Fripley
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Monday, 23 November 2009

To properly fit in to a bureaucracy, a worker needs to ensure that he/she does no more than the bare minimum of work that is required. Such an approach will allow you to more easily follow the five paradigms of government, keep you from upsetting your co-workers, and provide proper evidence of your suitability for promotion in the future. In the event that some misguided employee questions your apparent lack of commitment you should be ready with a well-prepared response. The following are five suggested responses.

Life is far too precious to waste time working on yet more recycled government/corporate policy.

I'll upset my colleagues if I do more than I have to, as they might feel pressure to follow my lead.

I'll raise the expectations of what my position needs to do, and this won't be fair on whoever gets it after I have left.

I have no written approval to do anything other than what I am doing. If you want me to do anything else, you'll have to write a memo to my supervisor.

If I show too much enthusiasm I run the risk of having my spirit crushed by the government/corporate machine and then I'll only end up bitter and disillusioned.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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