Written by birbee
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Tags: Money

Thursday, 29 October 2009

image for Thrifty Tips #9 Not that sort of mushroom, you clot.......

In our occasional series of Thrifty Tips, aimed at saving you money but normally resulting in embarrassment and ill health, not to mention fleecing you of all your hard earned cash, we will today attempt to show you how to save money, have fun and be healthy all in one foul swoop.

More and more people these days are turning to healthy live bacteria drinks to maintain their 'transitvan digesticus spinabifidum' but the problem with these special drinks, suck as 'Yuckycult','Activivmel' and Beneltoncull' is that they are all so expensive and come in the ridiculously sized little pots that could, quite frankly, be a choke hazard.

Why not make your own??

It's easy really, all you need is some full fat milk, bed sheets, a bed, a mattress and yourself.

What you do is firstly make your bed as you would normally for a good nights sleep.
If your bed is already made then you are already one step ahead.

Next, pour at least four pints of milk onto the sheet, making sure you pull the quilt back first.

The next step is to turn the heating right up high, the warmer the better. This will speed the whole process up.

Once the room is nice and toasty and the milk starts to 'turn' lie on the milk soaked sheets and pull the quilt over you.

After a couple of nights, the milk will slowly turn into live bacteria and this will be absorbed into your every pore.

So, no more expensive designer drinks in small packages, simply gallons of fresh bacteria flooding your body.


Hmm, Dandyown.......

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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