VP is Bronzed, Guilded, and Cast in Concrete.
Washington, DC--President George W. Bush today announced that Vice-President Dick Cheney has been named Vice-President for Life, and that to preseve Cheney for future generations, Cheney has been bronzed and coated in gold leaf, and cast in concrete. "I'm very proud of my Dick," said Bush. "He's done such a superb job of putting his foot in his mouth, that I want to preserve him for future generations. America should not be robbed of the opportunity to have Dick champion Compassionate Conservatism. Therefore, from hence forth, Dick Cheney will be Vice-President of America forever."
The National Archives has taken possession of the Vice-President, as a forklift truck and an eighteen-wheel tractor trailer are required for moving the Vice-President. A similing but unmoving Cheney was slowly wheeled into view. "We need to move slowly," said Harry Smith, mover for The National Archives. "If we drop him, he'll crack into a thousand pieces."
"Dick Cheney will forever symbolize the unmoving spirit of American Conservatism and constipation," Bush said.