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Thursday, 8 October 2009

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12. There's a lot or Rrrrrrr's in his speech: "What say we go to Arrrrrrrby's tonight?"

11. Orders pizza and runs to pay for it from "me bounty".

10. Just before you jump from the high dive, you thought you felt the end of a cutlass upon your back.

9. "Let's take arrrr food out of the kitchen and eat on the poopdeck."

8. Even the slightest breeze seems to shiver his timbers.

7. That's a pit bull sitting on his shoulder that he's named "Polly".

6. Claims he has a stiff leg or "Me Viagra" acting up every time you go out.

5. Often calls in at work to say that his scurvy is acting up.

4. Keeps hanging around funeral homes mumbling something about the corpse's chest & singing "Yo-ho-ho!"

3. When introduced, first offers you a hook & quickly switches to other hand.

2. Keeps shushing you and saying, "Is that a clock I hear? IS THAT A CLOCK I HEAR?"

1. During baseball discussion with friends, suddenly yells "Roberto Clemente wert the greatest ever & close yore yap or I'll keel-haul the both of ye!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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