Written by Geneva Slim

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Tags: PBS, pervert

Friday, 25 September 2009

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Have you ever been bad in the Badlands? Sowed your seed at Lake Mead? Had a hot time at Hot Springs? Gotten laid in the Everglades? If so, Ken Burns wants to talk to you.

Burns, the respected pixie-haired documentary filmmaker, is already busy with the sequel to his sure-to-be-a-blockbuster on the U.S. National Parks, which premieres this weekend on PBS. The follow-up film will have the working title, "The National Parks - A Seximental Journey."

"We want input from all kinds of sexual deviants, from the foot fetishist to the all-American breast man. We're particularly interested in anyone who lost their virginity in a National Park. Also of interest is anyone who had their coitus interrupted by a bear or other wild voyeur."

The mushroom-coiffed Burns, whose past documentaries have covered the sport of roller derby, the sanitary pad and tampon industries, and the artistry of Pee Wee Herman, said that modesty need not prevent anyone from contacting his production team. "Good Lord, if you haven't had an orgasm out of doors, you can hardly call yourself an American."

Interested degenerates may call 1-800-PARKSEX to get the ball rolling.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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