Friends, I write to you with a skip in my step and a song in my heart. Why, you ask? Because I can hear the sounds of democracy, even from where I sit. At this very moment the shrill, incessant cries of the Tea Party Express ringing in my ears. I don't mind, although some people just don't seem to understand. When I had some friends over recently, they asked why they could hear the yowls of kittens being tortured, but I quickly corrected their ignorance. "That's not kittens, that's democracy at work!"
Some people in this country object to the idea that simply speaking louder, calling names, and shouting outright lies is a part of the democratic process. I respectfully disagree, and further note that YOU LIE! YOU LIE! YOU LIE! ASSHOLE DAMN SOCIALIST NAZI UNICORN PILLOW!
Excuse me. I get a bit carried away at times. There are times, times when the piercing voice of ill-informed and bellicose dissent needs to be raised by a small minority of the populace. There are times when half-truths must be shouted at the top of our lungs. Only then can we convince others, despite our total lack of grounding in reality, that we might actually be right.
It's quite simple, really. Just look at the success we've had in town hall meetings. Only a total idiot would go to one of those and expect a civil discourse about matters of national importance to occur. No, we all know what town hall meetings are really for: yelling and screaming incoherently, foam and spittle flying from our jowls, all based on total misconceptions that we hope, if we repeat often and loudly enough, people will start to believe. Like the "death panels." What a hoot!
If it weren't, it wouldn't be called "democracy," now would it? Friends, our course of action is simple. Keep shouting. It's working! We're successfully bullying and browbeating our opposition into submission. And we all know who our real opposition is: the uninsured. The Democrats are just a weak front for this powerful lobby of sick and injured people desperately in need of health care. As such, we all know that our only option is to deny them health care, so that they die eventually because they can't afford medicine. Or surgery. Or whatever they "need!" It's opposition through attrition, the best kind of approach. It worked for us in Vietnam, it will work for us today.
For once, my friends, the liberal media finds itself forced into strengthening our position. In the 24-hour news cycle, one man screaming "OBAMA IS HITLER!" is transformed into a hundred men, and a hundred into ten thousand. So let us raise our voices, hoarse though they may be, and remember: we only care about the tyranny of the minority when we're not the minority in question.
ACORN NAZI SOCIALIST PELOSI OBAMA RACIST GENOCIDE COUCH TRAIN!