Written by Adam Click
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Monday, 14 September 2009

image for Scouting Report: Packers Hold Promise This Year 6' 3",258 lbs graduate from Washington State, TE DEVIN FRISCHKNECHT #46 is all boy and proud of it!

Poised on the brink of a new season, the Green Bay Packers hold more promise this year than any of the past ten. With several meaty linebackers, an impressive front line, and a solid performer at quarterback, they are sure to make their mark:

WR,JAKE ALLEN, #13, makes quite an impression with his shoulder length dreadlocks and pencil thin mustache. This 6'4",196 lbs. graduate from Mississippi College has enough enough charm to make any man swoon.

LB,NICK BARNETT, #56,weighes in at 236 lbs.. He's all man, girls. This hunky 6' 2" beast sports a beautiful afro and looks to die for.

CB/S JARRETT BUSH #24: This 6' 0",200 lbs., man-boy would love nothing better than to cuddle away a night with you. Informants tell us he cut quite a rug while at Utah State. He likes to wear pearl stud ear rings "just because".

WR DONALD DRIVER #80: There's nothing wrong with dating an older man, and "The Donald", as his team mates call him, is all man! Age and experience make him a likely candidate for a long term relationship.

TE DEVIN FRISCHKNECHT #46: This 6' 3",258 lbs graduate from Washington State is all boy and proud of it! His rakish good looks are sure to carry this rookie far.

No scouting report would be complete without a look at Quarter Back and AARON RODGERS, #12, brings so much to the table it's hard to decide where to start. Talent and brains make this five year veteran a solid choice for a good time.

In short, there's plenty to look forward to with this group and I'll bring you more scouting report highlights just as soon as I'm allowed back in the locker room.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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