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Thursday, 10 September 2009

image for TV Report: Pro Football Season Opens Tonight "Let's make this play a quickie!"

Detroit MI: Hello sports fans this is Kevin of KCAR TV, broadcasting from the media booth at Ford Field. Tonight the 2009 American Football season kicks off with the Detroit Kibitzers Vs the St Louis Nudniks.

As many local lions may remember from the 2008 season, the home team didn't win a single game! To liven things up a bit I have asked the lovely Britney to join me and describe some of the play action down on the field. Britney has a new morning show called Southern Exposure.

Thanks Kevin, I see all the ball carriers are on the field, so the game can begin. The Kibitzers' have elected to receive the snap, ouch, and have run the pigskin back to the Nudniks 20 yard line. Great penetration and field position! The Kibitzers' Quarterback signals for an up the middle run giving the Running Back a hand off job, but the lady muffs the play. The Nudniks' defensive Line Blockers also appear to be a bunch of boobs tonight.

It looks as if the next play will probably be in the air, yes; the Kibitzers' Quarterback throws a bird to the Tight End who barely grabs it in the Nudniks' end zone for a touchdown. The teams set up for the extra point, which is good, right between the uprights. The Kibitzers' take an early seven point lead and may "rack up more points" before the end of the evening! The Nudniks' could really "take a beating" in the next quarter.

That was a dramatic climax to the opening drive, running out the first quarter clock, so I'll "take it" from here Britney. Bye, Kevin see you back at the chicken ranch for a late snack.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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