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Friday, 4 September 2009

image for Dog days in the White House: Bo's journal - Entry 4 Bo's House: But For How Long?

Boy, did I sleep good last night after my day out with Max and meeting Misty.I somehow knew we would become life long friends, and soul mates, I just didn't know yet how that was going to happen due to my current situation of being held hostage by a family who really didn't understand what 'having a pet really means.

Things seemed to be going from bad to worse around 'the house', and old Barry was really pitchin a fit since politically, things didn't seem to be goin his way of late.

And Michelle, she was really off the charts when she heard People Magazine had bumped her off the cover for October in favour of Oprah....again!

And the kids? Well they had no time for me. They was too busy getting into trouble since no one cared much about them neither. They had their computer games and a bunch of used Bob Ross painting kits including some $35 fan brushes autographed by Bob that the nanny had picked up at a Dollar Store close out. All them clouds, waves , palm trees and those little cabins looked kinda cute painted on the plaster walls in their bedrooms.

I was getting kinda nervous, cause that witch, Marian, started to get even more weird than usual. She took to hanging around during my meals, make sure cook gave me enough to eat, and stared at me while chantin alot in some kind of foreign tongue. I heard her talking to herself when no one was around sayin 'Bad times comin'...evil spirts are lurkin...time for a sacrifice," and she would shake her ass and the clunky monkey teeth bracelots and start rollin her eyes up and actin real jungle like. Creeped me out!

Max must have noticed the witch too, cause he told me one night he had my back, and wouldn't let nothin bad happen to me since we were 'fox hole' buddies. I felt a lot better, but resolved not to let my guard down, or be alone with Marian, especially in the kitchen where there was a lot of knifes and other sharp instruments and a bunch of weird seasonings from Africa.

There was a special meeting today, some guys named Saul, Bill, 'Rev' and Soro the Greek' locked themselves in a secure room and were guarded outside by 5 Secret Service Guys. They had some other guy who turned out to be the "Education Czar", and a representative from the National Teachers Union in there with them too.

Max told me later, they were brainstorming Barry's address to all the kids in school in order to get them thinking Democrat, and more especially to think that Barry was really the Daddy of their country. I guess that part about George Washington never telling a lie kinda got overlooked in all the confusion! My own self, I think they should bring back the 'Kukla,Fran and Ollie' show in reruns for the kids...them puppets were pretty smart, and funny too...especially Ollie with that one ole tooth hangin out his mouth.

I used to like Howdy Doody too...but then when I met President Carter, I kinda lost interest in him...a little too country for me, dawg!

After dinner tonight Max and I caught some of Glen Beck on Fox. The guy's a little wacky, but he sure has the goods on the guys hangin out here at 'the house'. Max just started shakin his head, looked at me and said, 'Bo, I'm thinkin of puttin in my papers...gonna pull the plug and ride off into the sunset with Joanna."

Well, my little dog heart just about stopped dead right there. I was thinkin of runnin right out to the motor pool, drinkin a whole bunch of that anti freeze and take off runnin head on into a tree...like my Daddy done did when he got a snoot full of that poison and realized you couldn't teach an old dog new tricks, especially about tellin a pack of dogs they would have to share their food and all. Maybe Daddy realized in the last minute of his life that it was that 'socialism' that really killed his ass dead.

Max could tell by my eyes that I was plain upset. He gathered me up in his arms, leaned close to me and whispered, "Don't worry Bo, if I go, you go...we both have a lot of living to do yet...and we're goin do it as a real family!"

I don't know exactly what he had in mind, but I felt better already. It's nice to know you have someone in your corner when things look the bleakest. But now I had something good to look forward to...if I could just keep that Witch Marian away from my hind quarters. I didn't need to be just another sacrifice on the altar of Politics!

I went to bed with my conscience clear, and dreams of Misty and me rompin in open fields while Max and Joanna laughed and hugged. I slept through the night with nary a bad dream!

Big Dawg, Gone

Bo

COMING: MAX AND BO MAP OUT THEIR ESCAPE, WITCH MARIAN FOILED,AND PEATA LAUNCHES INVESTIGATION OF ANIMAL ABUSE IN THE WHITE HOUSE

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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