Written by Clifford Rutley
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Tags: Wrestling

Thursday, 3 September 2009

image for Alex Jones & Chris Jericho vs DX on WWE Raw! What Jimmy Heart & Alex Jones Have In Common.

I thought I'd share a weird dream that I had last night with you all. What it means I do not know...

For some strange reason I was watching WWE Raw and Chris Jericho was in the ring calling the audience nothing but parasites and hypocrites & (for some strange reason) his tag team partner Big Show was missing. Then the Imperial March from Star Wars started playing and Alex Jones started to make his way down to the ring. He entered it with his megaphone in hand and started to agree with Mr Jericho about how America has been sold out to the foreign bankers and that the audience were nothing but scum sucking hypocrites who would sell their children to the UN slave trade rings for nothing more than a slice of toast.

This continued for some time until the two 'truth tellers' were rudely interrupted by DeGeneration X who preceded to come down to the ring and do nothing but cheapen and besmirch everything Alex & Chris were saying. This resulted in the guest host for the evening, a Mr Obama, making an entrance and proclaiming a match at the end of the show between the two 'tag teams'. If DX won then the world would be plunged into a new dark age of tyranny, red tape and constant taxation in the name of saving the planet. If Chris and Alex won, then the second amendment would be saved, freedom of speech would be an okay thing again and the Rockefeller and Rothschild fortunes would be but to use to pay off everybody's mortgages and start self sufficient manufacturing businesses in the west that would sort out the economy.

For some strange reason, the rest of the show was a blur until this final match, which (for some strange reason) had Alex & Chris booed by the plebs in the audience who didn't know or were even capable of comprehending any of the freedoms they were fighting for. Instead, they cheered every move of the tyranny supporting DX. This didn't matter as, when Shaun Michaels was just about to hit him over the head with a chair, Alex proceeded to use his right to use firearms in self defence and drew his magnum from his side holster and shot Shaun in the face. This resulted in an easy 1-2-3 pin and victory for freedom.

However, the dumb ass plebs in the audience still booed and hissed and threw their pop corn, hot dogs and paper beakers of soda pop into the ring. But Alex and Chris left the arena happy all the same - no matter how much verbal and snack hurling abuse was thrown their way.

Now make sense of that - coz I'm still trying to!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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