Written by Shirley Sharpener
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Monday, 24 August 2009

In a statement released yesterday Adam Lambert, 2nd runner up of American Idol 2009, sets the record straight on his sweaty, smelly fans comment.

"First, I want to apologize to my fans-the greatest fans in the world, for lying to you all. Just because you believe every word that comes out of my mouth does not mean I should take advantage of that. Taking advantage is not sexy. Neither is lying unless he's really, really cute.

"The press did not put words into my mouth-it was aliens. Yes, the night before that interview where "I" said my fans are over zealous, touchy-feely, sweaty and smelly I was abducted by aliens. Apparently they took my title as a 'Glittery Alien from the Planet Fierce', literally. They wanted me to take them to my leader but after a quick peek at my fan site they decided I was the leader. They speak English remarkably well.

"They knew I'd be missed so they sent down a real alien to take my place while I was being poked and prodded. I think I may prefer the bottom now. So, you see it wasn't me who said those things. I've certainly thought them but I'd never say them out loud. Well, to my friends and family but not to you my dear fans because I owe you everything and I love you."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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