Written by PP Rega
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Sunday, 16 August 2009

image for Inviting a plastic surgeon to your cocktail party can be a disaster!

Top 10 things plastic surgeons say at cocktail parties:

10) Is that a Jackson Pollack? Oh...sorry, Madam.

9) Why hello, my dear. When I last saw you you were Renaissance. When did you go Baroque?

8) Well, at least they're bigger than two caviar eggs.

7) How about we put a grenade in your mouth and start over?

6) Give me a sharp blade and a couple of those guests over there and I can make you some primo carpaccio.

5) Would you like another chair for that left buttock of yours?

4) Cleavage? I thought it was the New Madrid fault.

3) Jeffrey Dahmer would have a ball with those thighs.

2) Juno-esque? How about Big Mac-esque?

1) Madam, would you mind getting your cellulite out of the artichoke dip?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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