Written by Jaggedone
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Tags: God

Thursday, 13 August 2009

image for GOD gives interview to The Spoof implying world is full of "Power Crazed, greedy Bastards!" God talks exclusively to The Spoof, why? Because he thinks we are seriously funny!

GOD (yes the real GOD, who?) has given an exclusive interview to the Spoof family of writers and readers. Astonished by this call from above (or below!) The Spoof, believing that the whole thing was a sham, decided eventually to send a representative to this astonishing, historical occasion reason being: The Spoof has no boundaries, heavenly or hellish!

Anyway, The Spoof ordered Jaggedone and his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) to go along as JO (Jaggedone, btw is a predominant Pyscho Socialite crap writer, a raving nutter and is suitable to face GOD, Jesus Budda also, but he's full of crap!) believes in the powers of a non-interventionist GOD, albeit not the GOD who is projected in human, wordly religions!

GOD appeared in his favourite disguise, a Clochard under a bridge in Amsterdam with his sidekick, a very huge albino rat with piercing red, satanic, demon-like eyes!

Jaggedone trembling at his ageing knees asked GOD, "why have you called The Spoof for this exclusive interview and not the Pope for example?"

God answered, "Spoof writers and readers see the world in different dimensions, laugh at the world and are seriously funny, I the Almighty need to convey my message through those channels otherwise nobody will ever f*****g believe me."

"Those bullshitting, hypocritical, lying, earthly religious leaders are so full of crap and religious dogma they could never tell the TRUTH!"

Jaggedone asked GOD, "but why now and what should the Spoof do?"

"I gave the world Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, The Elephant Man, etc, as positive examples, mankind ignored them, so be it!"

"I gave the world Hitler, Mao, Nero, Stalin, Ghengis Khan, wicked dictators, Egyptian/Roman Emperors, evil bastards all of them and the world still hasn't learnt to live in peace, so be it!"

"I've warned the world many times not to destroy my beautiful trees, natural habitats, their animals, etc, etc, and now, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, so be it!"

"The ice caps will melt, typhoons, earthquakes, floods, tsunamis, etc, will cause havoc, death and destruction, i.e. This weekend in Taiwan, gigantic avalanches of mud caused mayhem and destroyed everyhting in their paths because there are no TREES to stop them!"

"Stupid ignorant people have ignored the signs in their pursuit for power, greed, and false GODS, OK, so be it!"

"Mankind will pay the price for his failings that is my message to The Spoof, their honourable writers and readership, so be it!"

Jaggedone now alone (his cowardly cockroaches scampering for the nearest sewer hole) with GOD and his Sidekick (who?) asked a final question, "GOD, how should any sane mother fucker believe this utter bullshit?"

GOD answered "that's the reason why I'm telling The Spoof, as for the rest, well I don't give a shit, so be it!!"

JO, blinked for one second in disbelief, the Clochard (GOD) and his albino Sidekick, simply disappeared, so was it!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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