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Sunday, 2 August 2009

News Item: The Facts Of The Gates Case

10. Reason Prof. Gates didn't want to step outside was that PBS film crew hadn't set up yet

9. Since the person that made 911 call, and didn't know who he was, a "Meet The Neighbors" block party being planned

8. After Obama statement, Prof. Gates kept running up, standing next to Sgt. Crowley, wearing a "I'm With Stupid" T-Shirt

7. Prof. Gates, initially, misunderstood, thought Sgt. Crowley was asking him to "break dance"

6. Polls showing people confused, think Prof. Gates is actually Jazz Trumpeter Lester Bowie

5. Cambridge Police consulted with, for the "Loud and Tumultuous" line in their reports, Leonard Pinth Garnell

4. If Prof. Gates wouldn't come out his house, Cambridge Police had plans to get New Haven Firefighters to come, and extract him

3. Sgt. Crowley got agitated, only due to Prof. Gates continually referring to him as "Officer Krupke"

2. Prof. Gates got agitated only due to Sgt. Crowley continually referring to him as "Skippy"

1. Real reason Sgt. Crowley arrested Prof. Gates was to pressure him, to cough up President Obama's Birth Certificate

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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