Dear Father Frank,,
I am writing to thank you for your prompt action in returning my car to me this morning after my terrible experiences of yesterday. It seemed to take mere moments from the time I gave Li'l Tommy my note to you for you to come! Thank you so much for sending him to the movies; he really enjoyed the outing.
I would also like to thank you for sharing the Eucharist with me; although, I must say, I have never received the host quite like that before!
I wasn't even aware that they'd had another Vatican Council, let alone made all of these special sacraments and exceptions for widows and orphans.
And I must admit that I had never really had a true understanding of the term "defrocked priest" before, but I must say I was quite impressed by the size of your "commitment" to the Church.
When I was back in parochial school, I considered entering the convent, but I had not realized that in order to take up the veil, I would have to disrobe! I knew I would have to take vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, but I never realized I would be forced to give up my clothes! Since I've always been a bit shy, I guess it is better that things turned out the way they did for me.
Father, I am also returning your Roman collar, which I discovered while dusting the chandelier in the dining room this afternoon; I can't imagine how it came to be there!
I truly thank you for your kind invitation, and look forward to sharing in the special social hour in the rectory after mass this Sunday.
Your sister in Christ,