By Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J.
I have never been a tit man, not really, anyway. However, I have been forced to re-evaluate breasts. The reason: I have developed man-boobs. And I am proud of them, but not excessively so. It is not hubris--my new knockers are just plain fun.
I believe my pride at having developed these tiny titties must be much like the pride a young woman feels when the itty-bitty bumpies on her chestie become breasties. Surely, she must sit for hours on end, staring with wonder at her growing knockers. I know I do! And I am gaining insight into the mind set of post pubescent girls.
Do young teenaged girls fondle their breasts? I know I do! Are they as proud as I am that they are quickly outgrowing their training bras? I know I am! Are young women overly concerned over the shape and size of their nipples--if they are perky enough--if they "pout" enough? Lord knows I am!
The growth of my man-boobs has fueled all manner of speculation in me. Is it now time to give up altar boys in favor of women? Now that I have a rack, do I have further need of falsies hidden inside my bra?
I wish I could grow a longer, more flexible neck. If I could lick my own breasts and fellate myself, I'd never have need of a woman again. In fact, I'd never speak to another woman for as long as I lived.
Questions, questions, questions--all I have are unanswered questions. But my man-boobs, they are an answer to prayer.