Written by birbee
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Wednesday, 22 July 2009

In our occasional series of Thrifty Tips, aimed at saving you money but normally resulting in embarrassment, we have the dubious pleasure in bringing you advice on cheap travel.

The first, and most obvious solution, is to not travel at all (except on foot) until you are 65 years of age, or 60 if you are female.

This way, you are given a birthday present from the government of a bus pass, not only reinforcing how old you have just become, but also allowing you free bus travel anywhere in the country, with frequent stops and changes.

Another solution is to use your thumb.

Back in the 60's, 70's and eighties this was possibly the favoured travel option of 95% of the population but it became so popular that more people were hitch hiking than owned cars so you had no, or little, chance.

These days it's making a comeback, and although it is a cheap way of travel, I must tell you of a past experience of mine.

I was 16 and wanted to get from Axbridge, in Somerset, to Fairford, Wiltshire.

I first got a lift with a bit of a spiv in a beamer that was ok, but he had to drop me at the bottom of Cheddar Gorge.

I then managed to get a lift with a lorry driver. Big bloke, but first impressions told me, "Gentle Giant"

It was later that evening I learnt never to trust my first impressions as I'll never forget the grinning, laughing, drooling, satisfied faces of the eight or so drivers as I finally escaped from Tibshelf Service Station, on the M1, just south of Sheffield.

The taxi home cost me over £300 and I could not get comfortable no matter how delicately I positioned myself.

It is a cheap form of travel, it costs nothing, but avoid Welsh lorry drivers heading North.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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