Written by birbee
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Monday, 13 July 2009

Continuing with our occasional series which brings you condescending advice aimed at saving you pennies, but normally with disastrous results, we are pleased to bring you details of how to create a scaled down model of an olympic sized swimming pool in your back, or even your front, garden.

This may even work if you don't have a garden as such, but have a adequate area and a large enough container.

First of all you will need a few tools. A spade should be adequate. If you don't actually own one yourself, personally, you can always do what I did and 'borrow' the one propped against your next door neighbours shed.
Don't do what I did and get caught though as this makes the process somewhat longer.

Next, dig a hole. The size of the hole depends on the size you want your pool. The bigger you make it, the bigger your pool will be.
Of course, you have to take the space you have available into consideration when deciding on how big your pool will be.

Once you have your hole dug the next job is to line it. Failure to adequately line your hole/pool will result in an extremely large muddy puddle that would soon soak away and may even flood the neighbourhood.

A perfectly practicable method of lining your pool is to visit your nearest supermarket and buy enough black bin liners to cover the area you have dug in the ground.

For those of you on an extremely tight budget there is no shame in visiting Aldi or Lidl, however we would suggest you take an old Tesco carrier bag to avoid any potential embarrassment should your neighbours spot you on the way home.

Next line out your hole and make sure you have enough sellotape to cover all the edges.

When it comes to filling your pool, you have a multitude of choices. You can go for the green approach and simply wait for it to rain enough to fill it, but this will possibly take some time.

The best way I have found is to wait until it gets dark and connect your hosepipe to that of your next door neighbours and use his water.

Done correctly and this will give you and your family minutes of fun.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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