Written by robotsausage
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Monday, 13 July 2009

Spinach toupe's: made from pig's hair blended with the finest spinach and sewn together by Chelsea pensioners on holiday in Rhyl, Goes well with apple sauce.

Barnsley Scratchings: Made from the best dead dried skin from ex Barnsley miners and coated in salt and a soft garlic paste and left to dry for three years before being bagged up and sold across Yorkshire.

Tramp's Pizza: a disc shaped bread base which a tramp throws up last night's bin dinner across the base then it is left to bake in the sun until dry mmmmm lovely.

Jamaican Bile Soup: A thick soup made from Jamaican sailors bile after death, served with dumplings.

Italian Dead mafia Giant tomato based pie: an unusual dish made with dead ex mafia bones and flesh blended in a blender until soft and gooey then a giant tomato roughly five feet x five feet, the insides are scooped out and the filling from the mafia added with the top of the tomato put back on and baked in the oven for half an hour at 450 degrees mmmm delisimo.

Rancid Bulgarian Rusks: rusks that were left from the Victorian era in Bulgaria and found and cooked in a stinky sock and left swinging in a hot cardboard oven by top chef Juan Marco Bastard.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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