Tired of everyday life? Sick of shopping for tile at home depot with your dipshit spouse every weekend? Does the thought of not ever getting to do a line of coke off a hookers ass before you die keep you up at night? Don't you just wish there was a place where this behavior could be forgiven? A place where clever marketing and bright lights has convinced people that reckless behavior is ok as long as it happens there?
Well my friend, theres a little place in the desert where all your dreams may come true. And that place is fabulous Las Vegas. Las vegas is a place where everybody is just as miserable as you and are willing to do dumb shit to try and forget about it. A place where a man can be a man and a woman can get back at her father. Does it sound too good to be true? Well, I'm here to bring you great news.
For a limited time only, we're going to offer you a chance to do all those things you wish you did before you got married. Whether its having a good ol' fashioned gang bang with 8 men or getting a blowjob from a tranny hooker behind a buffett salad bar, we can guarantee to make your wildest fantasies come true.
Take a break from your depressing life and enjoy the consequence free vacation our little oasis has to offer. We'll be waiting. And don't worry, we have good clinics. Just remember, Vegas is the place where you can just say "Fuck it!"