Written by matwil
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Monday, 8 June 2009

image for 'A Children's Tale' by President Barack Obama 'And all their troubles were ended in one day, thanks to the Queen.'

'Once upon a time, in a land far, far away from reality, there were many girls and boys, and all the boys and girls were unhappy. And do you know why they were unhappy? Because their mommies and daddies had lost their jobs at digging holes in the ground and recycling air, and the few coins they'd saved up for feasting had been stolen by the wicked Baron Greenbank.

And some of their mommies and daddies had been forced to go and fight a pointless war against the Beardies of Khazi, so the boys and girls were crying a lot, and saying 'If only the fair Queen of Narnerica would arrive and wave her magic wand, and our moms and dads would have their jobs back.'

'And they would return from the pointless war, and once again we would have lots of coins and food and drink, and invent sports that grown men outside of our land would be embarrassed to play. And everyone would be happy, and all would be equal, and there would be lots of laughter and merriment, and huge amounts of excessive binge-drinking.'

And then as the sun rose over Narnerica the next day, warming up the cholesterol and the animal fats, lo and behold 'twas that very Queen of Narnerica, come to save the people! 'People', she said, 'I have come with my trusty assistant Princess Hitleria to wave my magic wand, and all of your troubles will be gone.'

'Only, er, I'll be doing that tomorrow, I need to go on another holiday to Europa first', and she took to the skies with Hitleria in her flying chariot, and all the boys and girls, and men and women, and cats and budgerigars, and dyslexic eagles and mutated aardvarks, cheered greatly as the Queen disappeared into the clouds.

'Hurrah!', they cried, 'we are saved!', and 'Huzzah! Three cheers for our glorious Queen of Narnerica!', and the traditional song of 'Tomorrow Never Comes' was sung by their minstrel, Uncle Tom Democratz. And' - sorry, my boss Dick Cheney has just walked into the room, better pretend I'm doing some work, like being a President or something

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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