I have obtained a secretive shortlist of people & Ministerial positions offered in Mr.Brown's Cabinet.
The list only includes those that have turned down this wonderful opportunity to serve their country in a variety of positions.
Mr.David Carradine - Minister for Justice (left a note explaining)
Mr.Nick Griffin - Minister for Racial Harmony & Inclusiveness. (Injured whilst falling off bar stool laughing hysterically).
Mr.Alistair Darling - Governor of Helmand Province (Has a note from his Mum)
Mr.Neil Kinnock - Minister with special portfolio for the Invasion & reconquering of Wales. (Too busy snuffling in MEP's communal trough in Brussels).
Mr.Vladimir Putin - Minister for Secure Energy Supply (Too busy playing with the gas taps on his giant desk in the Kremlin)
Mr.Ozzie Osbourne - Minister for Schools (Declined after Ozzie found out that it was only offered so Ed Balls could get Chancellor's job).
Mr.Robert Mugabe - Minister for the advancement of Illegal Foreign Immigrant Benefits & Food distribution. (Too busy messing his own white people about).
A Horse, a Jogger,the man that mysteriously opens the door at 10 Downing Street, the Pelicans in St.James's Park, a Korean tourist and a Tamil gentleman have also turned down cabinet posts.
These offers were all received from a man whispering through the partially opened tinted rear window of a Jaguar that had been circling Parliament Square & the Mall in the early hours of this morning!