'On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love claimed for me -
Twelve race horses running, eleven gourmet dinners, ten evenings in casinos,
Nine antique dolls' houses, eight chauffeured limos, seven crates of champers,
Six boxes of Havanas, five, go-o-old, seats at Olympic committees.
Four call-girl babes, three French holidays, two white mink coats,
And a night out avoiding Hazel Blears.'