Written by Asiabill
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Saturday, 23 May 2009

1. Asian ladies know that they are superior to mere men in all facets of life and expect to be treated accordingly.

2. Asian ladies do not want equality; they demand control.

3. Asian ladies have femininity in spades. They know all the tricks and enjoy using them. A passing smile can reduce a man to a blithering idiot in nanoseconds.

4. Asian ladies pay a lot of attention to their appearance; three hairstyle changes per commute to work are about average. Their men are expected to notice and compliment each change appropriately.

5. Asian ladies have decreed that the penalty for marital infidelity is the severance of the male member and its consumption by a duck. Upon initiating a relationship with an Asian lady, the first story you will be told is of a man sadly trudging towards a hospital with a duck under his arm. Be warned!

6. Asian ladies pay continuous attention to their appearance. A motorcycle approaching you with three ladies aboard, all with their hair blowing in the wind may look like a beautiful sight. Then you notice all three are busily working on their make up.

7. Asian ladies know that men like to make decisions and concede that right to them. God help the man who makes the wrong decision.

8. When a Western woman tries the vulnerable little girl routine, you know it is a sham that you can easily ignore. When an Asian lady does the same, your heart starts thumping, your knees knocking and your head nodding. Before you know it, you have agreed with everything she has said.

9. The centre of an Asian lady's empire is her kitchen. It is sacrosanct and a no-go area for men. A well fed family is a contented family. That contentment comes courtesy of the generosity of the lady of the house. Annoy her at your stomach's peril.

10. At parties and social gatherings men are sent off to drink themselves into a stupor and mumble about football. Asian ladies gather in the kitchen which becomes transformed into an information exchange centre. All gossip, hearsay, rumour and innuendo regarding spousal errant ways is discussed, debated, deliberated upon and dissected. Factual facts and fictional facts are equally considered and contemplated. No stone is considered too small to be overturned in the search for details of the husband's deeds when outside the pale of his wife's scrutiny.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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